Refund Letter

Dear Valued Customer,

Enclosed you may find your refund in full for the defective chemical retardant suit:

'Tychem TPSSFM Large Protective Suit'

Here at S-Mart, we ask our customers to not hesitate to piss and moan about our service, and therefore we appreciate you not only shopping with us, but also screaming in a funny voice at your local St. Louis store manager about your plight. 

We also don't ask questions; like why someone needs a HAZMAT suit in the first place, and why they chose to test it with homemade chemicals in the store parking lot. We are sure you had your reasons, and we respect infinite wisdom in the realm of alchemy and other wizardly exploits. 

S-Mart hopes that this refund finds you back in our stores, buying more chemical suits for future use, and blah blah blah, whatever, fuck you.

Descriminately Yours,
Cal V. Garbutt
CEO
S-Mart Empire

We hope that you will continue to shop smart, you will shop S-Mart.