Irving, TX- After a tense and bitter campaign, local man, Brooks Baca, rolled to win the most handsome man on the Harris Court block of the Valley Ranch neighborhood of Irving, TX, a suburb of Dallas. The contest, first dreamed up by Baca himself, was intended to promote Valley Ranch and to spur on neighbor interaction in this quiet community.
The race was called shortly after 6:15 central time, as a series of swing votes fell into place for Baca to give him the advantage he needed over his elderly opponent, retired bookkeeper, Ralph Garcia. First, 10418 Harris Ct then 10428 Harris Ct fell to Baca. When the ever important 10422 Harris Ct vote went the young educator's way, a roar went up from the Baca house, just next door.
Moments later, Mr. Baca sent this message on Twitter, "YOLO!!! S/O to Drake, Keshia Pulliam, Bill Nye, and Jason Sudeikis!" He struck the same tone of untethered excitement as he addressed his wife and younger brother from their modest get-together that evening, "The block has spoken. As a community, we clearly value hard work and hard bodies. We know our best days were in college but our other best days are to come!"
Garcia faced a suprisingly upbeat group of supporters just down the block, caddy-corner from the Baca residence, and offered his congratulations to Baca, "I wish all of them well but particularly Brooks, his wife, and that other guy who's always over there. What's his deal anyway? At any rate, to be honest, I never really cared about this competition but Brooks made me sign up so he could have someone to run against and I didn't mind."
Others, such as Baca's neighbor, Rhonda Willingham, took time to reflect on the contest, "Well, my partner Lisa and I considered voting for Linda's kid down the street but we thought that might come off as creepy since he's only 9 so we just voted for Brooks, I think he's actually the only guy on the block." When asked about Garcia's candidacy, Willingham seemed genuinely surprised, "Really? I thought he passed away a couple of years ago. I'd have voted for the guy, that is really too bad, I should go see him sometime."
Baca will have little time to celebrate however, as during the night's celebration he neglected his fitness principles, "Yeah, because of the big announcement tonight, I didn't get a chance to go the the gym. And, if I'm being truthful, the stress of this event, combined with the beers, is really gonna take its toll. I really got to hit it hard tomorrow and be sure that I get my looks back the to standards this neighborhood knows and expects."
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