Yu Darvish to Learn From a Master

Fortunately for Yu Darvish of the Texas Rangers, he hopefully will never be subjected to the same humiliation and clubhouse laughter that Chan Ho Park experienced as a Yankee. Remember the 'diarrhea' video? 

This is in light of the recent statement by fellow pitcher Derek Holland at Spring Training, who claims that Darvish said, "Please teach me English." 

So fear not Darvish, Holland, though who has admitted himself that he's "...not the best guy to be teaching English..." will help you avoid the embarrassment of telling everyone about your bowel movements. 

Whether or not Holland will prevent Darvish from ever having ailments, or just teach him American etiquette remains to be seen. Holland isn't exactly the poster-boy for normalcy. See him as a weatherman, Harry Caray, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and author Kurt Vonnegut--all within the last 6 months.

Who knows what this language apprenticeship will lead to?

Countdown

I wanted to spend a little time talking some Ranger things. Nothing else in the world matters anymore. There's baseball around the corner. There's hope. There's a clean standings board. There's no league stat leaders and everything to prove. I'm so ready. I'm practically taking the field myself. 

Here is what the Texas effing Ranger's roster looks like as of now heading into the regular season, before seeing the yeilds of Spring Training which starts in 3 weeks:

Catcher                   Mike Napoli > Yorvit Torrealba        
First Base                Mitch Moreland > Brandon Snyder        
Second Base            Ian Kinsler            
Shortstop                Elvis Andrus            
Third Base              Adrián Béltre            
Left Field                Josh Hamilton > Leonys Martín

Center Field            Craig Gentry > Julio Borbón        
Right Field              Nelson Cruz > David Murphy        
Designated Hitter    Michael Young

A few notes:

Craig Gentry's job is his to lose in CF. I don't know how well Julio Borbón has recovered from his surgery last year, but I remember well the hype that came with him starting in 2009. I still think he potentially has the tools, and this is part of the reason for greatness in Spring Training. Who knows, Leonys Martín could really let his hair down and show both Gentry and Borbón up, but I doubt he's ready to ride. He may not even make the 25-man roster at the start of the season because he's not wearing his assless chaps yet.

Michael Young, the Rangers version of "Old Rough and Ready" will likely be filling the seat hole of DH primarily, with probably some spot games at 3B and 1B. I expect something in the area of 90-100 games DH, 20-30 3B, 10-20 1B, and maybe 10 games or so for random one-night-stands at 2B or SS. This all depends on injuries around the infield, but it's nice to have a guy like MY who could pick up any of those positions. It's like being able to rest easy knowing your daughter is in good hands.

Mike Napoli, glad to have him locked in again. Although his offensive production will be hard to replicate, it isn't as though he's going to crash at the plate. He will likely play close to 80 games behind the plate, split with Yorvit Torrealba, and depending on how Mitch Moreland is hitting, 20-30 games at 1B, with some down time at DH in the 20 game variety.

Starting Rotation     

Yu Darvish
Derek Holland    

Colby Lewis    
Matt Harrison
Neftali Feliz    
 

Bullpen     

Joe Nathan     

Mike Adams    
Mark Lowe    
Koji Uehara    
Yoshinori Tateyama    
Michael Kirkman    
Cody Eppley

Reserve/Spot Starters

Alexi Ogando    
Scott Feldman  

Note:

A lot of fuss has been made about the lack of left-handed arms in the bullpen. Well let me tell you something, pal, you don't necessarily need guys to throw specifically to left-handed batters, when you have Koji Uehara, Mike Adams, and Cody Eppley--all right handed relievers that throw statistically better to lefties than righties. Your team won't fall apart anyway because you have a bit of a bullpen mismatch.

Aujord'hui

How can anyone not be disgusted by what is going on in Syria. Nope not a question; that was rhetorical. You should be disgusted. Politics aside, only in our worst nightmares would we dream that our president and our own soldiers would be killing us and indiscriminately shelling our neighborhoods with artillery. This is what is going on in Syria. Horrifying to imagine, and truly disgusting.

Meanwhile China and Russia have decided to keep playing their diplomacy games and veto UN resolutions to call for Syrian President Bashar Assad to step down. "No, we won't stop Assad from killing his own people because we don't like you other guys, and can't be seen to agree on something with you." God forbid a moment of solidarity among leaders in stopping something so appalling. I guess it shouldn't be surprising nations are playing fickle policy and diplomacy games at a dire moment of need. But wouldn't it be smart to understand that Assad will fall eventually? And you can guarantee that his successors will not forget the friends who tried to help, and the bullys who sat on their hands.

On to other things; like beer. We believe that practice makes creativeness. It is the time for repetition, cycling, and working on brewing different types of beers. We are going to get as good as we can at home brewing...but it is also a time for reading. If our knowledge expands through a combination of experience and book-smarts in the creation of a diverse collection of genres of beer, we are betting that we can do a number of top-secret spawns in our labs. Hopefully some of them will be something you have never had before...or perhaps we will settle for just something better than what you've had before!