Scholar and Local Gentleman
Bart Nutter of Cleveland, OH was kicked out from last night's ball game at Progressive Field after dumping his entire cup of Bud Light on field umpire Skip Hardchuck.
"That call was bull****!!" said Nutter after the game. "I shouldn't be punished for taking the game seriously and letting that son of a ***** get away with that call. He was safe at 2nd, and that's that!"
Nutter, who friends say is known for his eagle eye vision whilst bulls eyeing womp rats back home, said he could see the play clearly.
"You're damn right that guy deserved it!" Says Nutter, who says he has excellent eyesight and that this author could "ask his friends about it".
After the disputed call, Nutter rappelled down from his section 342 seat on the third deck of the first base side of the park. Upon reaching the second tier, he took advantage of "free hang glider night" and used the glider of unsuspecting Karen Buford who was taking Instagram photos of her and her friends.
"I don't know what happened..." Said Buford, "...I forgot I even got the hang glider to be honest, I left it in the empty seat behind me." Buford continued that she got some good photos of Nutter's takeoff towards Hardchuck, but couldn't show them after realizing her battery was almost dead.
Nutter reached right field at a gallop, and upon discarding his hang glider, beer in hand, raced toward Hardchuck.
The unsuspecting Hardchuck, took a dose of his own name in the form of 18oz of lukewarm Bud Light.
Hardchuck's take: "At first, I thought I was dying. The sensation that I had, felt as though my god, Cronos, had come for me and was melting my body into a jelly like substance."
Hardchuck, a fervent believer in Ancient Greek gods, was disappointed to turn around and see Nutter standing there with a dripping cup of beer.
"I cursed his heart, I really was hoping that tonight was my time. Totally ready. You know?" Says Hardchuck.
After Nutter was kicked out and Hardchuck received a dry shirt and new outlook on life, the game resumed. The call ultimately was moot however, as the Tribe scored 4 runs that inning which was more than enough for the win.
Other fans after the game voiced their concerns on whether or not they would still have "free hang glider night".
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